YAY! I had my port-a-cath placed today. For those that don't understand the concept of a port-a-cath, I will try to explain. It is a small port that is placed just under the skin in my upper chest just below my right collarbone. This is covered by skin and can be accessed by a needle. You can imagine that it is like when they access a regular IV site into that little rubber piece that dangles at the end of the IV line. They go through the skin and can draw blood, give medication, etc. without having to search around for a vein now because this port is connected directly to a vein at all times. This means that I will no longer have to have regular IV lines and they won't have to go searching for a vein each time I go in for my IVIG infusions or into the hospital for an admission! This should save me lots of poking, bruises and discomfort. Now you can likely understand why I have been looking forward to this for so long.
The procedure went well today with no complications. My arm/shoulder really hurts tonight. It feels like someone has been yanking on my arm and trying to shove their foot through my shoulder. I assume that I will be in less pain tomorrow and that by the weekend all should be fine.
Yesterday, I had the unpleasant experience of having my first acute pancreatitis attack. I was in so much pain it was unbelievable. It started around 4:30am and by 7am, I had all I could take and went upstairs in hopes of getting comfortable in a recliner. Mom saw me before she left and I burst into tears because I was in so much pain. I assured her that I would be fine and that if I wasn't, I would call Becky because she was off. So, mom went off to work with the promise from me that I would call if it got worse. I probably should have gone to the ER because my home pain meds weren't working in the slightest. I refrained from eating and did very little drinking all day and by the end of the night, it was a little better. I did have a little bowl of soup since I knew I wouldn't be able to eat today because of the procedure and that didn't seem to make things too much worse. It was a very uncomfortable night in bed, but I managed to get a little sleep and was feeling better this morning. I talked to my surgeon about it today and he said I was right in not eating and giving my pancreas a rest. He also agreed I probably should have gone in, but understood why I didn't. I was afraid that if I did, they would admit me and cancel my procedure for today and also that it would ruin our camping trip for the weekend. I will definitely admit that it scared the crap out of me. I was also hesitant to go in because I didn't want to hear that it was all back again. Nothing scares me more than the idea that my pancreas will try to eat me alive again. The GI doctor told me that it was inevitable that it will and now I live in fear that he is right. I know that I could not go through all that again - neither physically nor mentally/emotionally. I have already made the decision that if it happens again, they are to just let me go. I can't do it. It is too much for both me and my family to go through again. I literally live in fear of when it will happen. It is what wakes me in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. It is what pushes me to make the most of the time that I have with my family now - especially with Andrew - because I am so afraid that there will come a time in the not so distant future that I won't be around. I cherish the time I have with everyone now. It has made me appreciate my family so much more and all they do for me. I hate thinking that I won't be there for my sister when she needs me and that I may miss out on the important moments of Andrew's life as he gets older. It isn't fair that I should even have to think about those things.
Anyway, on a more cheerful note...I am planning to scrounge together $3 so I can go see the Harry Potter movie tomorrow. Then, Andrew and I are going to see Ratatoille on Friday. They needed me to pick him up from school on Friday, so I said I would pick him up after my doctor's appointment and we would go see the movie. He told me tonight that he didn't want to go, but then I told him that I really want to see it, but don't want to go alone...I need a date. So, he decided that he would take me to see it. How cute is that? After the movie, we will go back to his house to play until his parents come home.
Well, I am sore and tired, so I am off to bed. Hope you all have a great day!
Sally
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